Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
smell my finger.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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