MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
