plz talk dirty to me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
