your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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