im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can text with my tongue
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
