I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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