I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
