ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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