you win again, gameday.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize