I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
