i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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