My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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