You're so nebulous sometimes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
