i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
