I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
