i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
