I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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