You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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