i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
