turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
