Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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