Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
