she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
