i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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