I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
