sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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