you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize