Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
