i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Found your dick twin last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
