If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The uberlube is also flammable
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
