That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
