There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
