I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
