My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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