Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
