Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
