So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
