I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
