Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
