uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
