The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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