after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
