If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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