it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
