brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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