Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
