so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
