when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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