if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
