in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
