you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
