Christians are straight up FREAKS
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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