Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
