Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
