remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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