he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize