happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
