...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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