We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
