She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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