Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
