my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
