I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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