Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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