Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
