I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
