Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
